I couldn’t resist one more word on the socialization issue. For those who still have doubts about whether or not homeschoolers can be properly socialized, here are some examples of homeschoolers in action I have personally witnessed.
Teenagers working on a project with adults—asking questions, offering input, even enjoying a few laughs. All without eye-rolling.
Groups of students writing skits together, kidding with each other and encouraging each other.
Varsity basketball players offering their free time to help with the junior varsity practices—high-fiving kids five years younger than they were.
Kids baffled by what certain swear words mean.
Hearing Yes, Ma’am and Yes, Sir from a group of teenagers.
A girl who fashioned a one-of-a-kind skirt from her father’s old neck ties who wore her creation confidently.
Hearing my children’s friends inquire about my life and then actually listen and respond to my answers.
Teammates admitting they messed up to each other.
These are just a bit of the evidence that proves to me homeschooling doesn’t harm the development of respect, teamwork, confidence, humility, concern, decency, self-sacrifice, and sense of humor that are the hallmarks of the socialization process. In fact, the age-integrated and parent-supervised nature of homeschooling probably encourages these valued characteristics. So the next time any of us is challenged by a world that doesn’t understand or misrepresents what we have been called to do, we can remember the awesome kids who everyday prove the critics wrong.
Showing posts with label socialization. Show all posts
Showing posts with label socialization. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Homeschool Family Invites the Radio Host to Supper!
One of our local homeschool mothers wrote the following letter to the radio host who expressed doubts about the socialization of home schooled children. Stephine (unique spelling) gave us permission to publish her letter here with slight changes to protect their identity.
Colonel Ray,
I was disappointed by the negative names you called home schoolers earlier this week. Your attack on the parents’ decision of how to best educate their children was surprising in itself given your libertarian views. However, your name calling was just juvenile. Exactly what initiated your monologue on home schoolers’ social lives? I am curious to know. Apparently your hang up with home schooling is limited to your concern for the children’s social lives. You didn’t mention the quality of education nor the opportunities available to them nor their ability to contribute to the community.
I am responding to your comments because my son is home schooled. When asked, he doesn’t miss sitting in a classroom for 8 ½ hours every day. I am not sure how classroom participation counts as socialization. Perhaps lunch is the socializing time? He was required to sit in an assigned seat and had exactly 20 minutes to eat. No socialization there. Perhaps it is recess? He had exactly 15 minutes of recess a day. I guess that is the 15 minutes of daily socialization you think he is missing. No other free time to learn to build relationships. Some of the extra-curricular activities he participates in are after school hours with children who attend a variety of school arrangements. In addition, he actually gets to socialize during “school hours” with other home schoolers.
My husband was home schooled. It hasn't seemed to hurt him a bit. He has served in federal law enforcement for over twenty years. His assignments have taken him to as varied places as the White House, Baghdad, Singapore, Houston, and McAllen. You could ask the officers that work for him or the fellow supervisors that he has dealt with all over the world whether he is socially inept.
Like you accuse Rush Limbaugh of doing, you should consider what you say and what labels you attach to people before you broadcast your comments valley-wide.
In order to give you a frame of reference before you speak of home schooled children again, I would like to invite you and your family to my home for dinner. You can judge for yourself whether my husband and son are socially backward. Since we have other things in common, I think it could be a pleasant and interesting dinner conversation.
I also would like to invite you to come visit our home school coop classes one day. The parents and kids would love to have conversation with you. Perhaps you could join us for one of our community projects, like putting flags out on the veterans’ graves on Veterans’ Day. I will let you know the next project we have. Stephine
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Answer to a Local Radio's Station Bashing Home Schoolers over Socialization.
Every time I think we've answered the socialization question once and for all, it pops back up again. Yesterday I turned the radio on in the car to hear a local commentator bash homeschooling--not for the excellence of academics, but for the lack of socialization.
I'd like to ask that commentator how many homeschool students he personally knows. His comments were so far out that I wonder if he knows any. He did have plenty of the stereotype ideas about home schooled kids.
According to him, kids shouldn't be home schooled because his high school years were some of his happiest ever. So this settles it once and for all? Or should we ask home school students about their experience? My daughter often says her home school years in high school were the happiest of her life! Her friends agree heartily.
Then he said he felt sorry for those poor kids sitting at home alone all day with no friends. That's when I began to suspect he didn't know many, if any, home school families. None that I know are like that. My kids laughed when they heard someone feeling sorry for them for lack of socialization.
Like the time a public school proponent lamented for them as they were in the gym for a basketball practice. My response, as the boys went down full speed for a layup was, "They seem to be having a pretty good time right now."
Wait. Did I just suggest that home schoolers play basketball? Surely, not on a real team. With real uniforms? (Yes, once someone actually asked us that. We were sorely tempted to wear t-shirts with duct tape numbers to the next game.) But I did say basketball, real teams, real referees, real tournaments. It took a while, but one of our persistent coaches finally got the local newspaper to report our games and stats along with all the others. It was kind of hard to refuse when we had one of the top players in all the area on our team. Public schools now call to invite us to play them and participate in their tournaments.
Bet the radio announcer had no idea.
Here's a few other things my kids did that gave them so much socialization that they learned to laugh at the naysayers.
I'd like to ask that commentator how many homeschool students he personally knows. His comments were so far out that I wonder if he knows any. He did have plenty of the stereotype ideas about home schooled kids.
According to him, kids shouldn't be home schooled because his high school years were some of his happiest ever. So this settles it once and for all? Or should we ask home school students about their experience? My daughter often says her home school years in high school were the happiest of her life! Her friends agree heartily.
Then he said he felt sorry for those poor kids sitting at home alone all day with no friends. That's when I began to suspect he didn't know many, if any, home school families. None that I know are like that. My kids laughed when they heard someone feeling sorry for them for lack of socialization.
Like the time a public school proponent lamented for them as they were in the gym for a basketball practice. My response, as the boys went down full speed for a layup was, "They seem to be having a pretty good time right now."
Wait. Did I just suggest that home schoolers play basketball? Surely, not on a real team. With real uniforms? (Yes, once someone actually asked us that. We were sorely tempted to wear t-shirts with duct tape numbers to the next game.) But I did say basketball, real teams, real referees, real tournaments. It took a while, but one of our persistent coaches finally got the local newspaper to report our games and stats along with all the others. It was kind of hard to refuse when we had one of the top players in all the area on our team. Public schools now call to invite us to play them and participate in their tournaments.
Bet the radio announcer had no idea.
Here's a few other things my kids did that gave them so much socialization that they learned to laugh at the naysayers.
- Ran for student council vice-president, won, and served in that office for a year
- Served on a home school yearbook committee
- Did community service with other home schoolers at the food bank, habitat for humanity, the humane society, and beach clean-up (to name a few)
- Planned and provided a meal and a game day and Christmas gift drive for an orphanage in Mexico for many years
- Attended many out of town tournaments including the National Homeschool Basketball tournament where over 300 teams participated
- Went on field trips with other home school friends
- Planned and attended a spring formal banquet with home schoolers
- Planned and participated in talent programs with their friends
- Went to the mall to hang out with their homeschool friends (gasp, home schoolers do that?)
- Spent way too many hour texting their friends (I include this because the radio announcer felt that the public school kids were so blessed to be there texting their friends. If homeschool parents didn't pay for unlimited texting we'd be broke.)
- Participated in co-op classes with their friends
- Took concurrent enrollment at a local university during their junior and senior years
- Went on year-end trips to places like Austin, San Antonio, and Houston
- Had way too many sleep-overs
I could go on, but I think you get the idea. This doesn't even include other activities I know our home school friends do each year like attend symphonies together, participate in the Nutcracker each year, join our Chess club with local chess tournaments, 4-H galore, and academic contests. Then there were skating days, picnic days, pubic speaking forums, and everyone-come-over-to-my-house days.
This doesn't even include the socialization with their church friends. The idea that home schoolers sit at home with no friends and no social life is a MYTH.
This doesn't even include the socialization with their church friends. The idea that home schoolers sit at home with no friends and no social life is a MYTH.
Now, have we finally got this issue settled?
Monday, November 16, 2009
Silencing the Critics
If you are homeschooling, are thinking of homeschooling, or are even leaving the tiniest window of opportunity open to homeschooling, you need to know the rest of the world thinks you are a mutant. Something went wrong somewhere in your development to cause you to ignore the institutions established by highly-educated professionals and choose to keep your children home with you when it is obviously best for everyone if they go off to spend most of their days with groups of their peers.
Have you heard any of these criticisms before? If you haven’t, you are either surrounded by saints or have kept your decision a secret. If you have, how do you respond to the well-meaning (mostly) questioners of your convictions?
Let’s tackle the number-one, all-time favorite question posed to homeschoolers or potential homeschoolers, the granddaddy of skeptical quips—what about their socialization?
The very thought of it makes a parent tremble. Do we want to produce awkward, uncooperative adults as the result of our homeschool experiment? Of course not, so we stumble at the suggestion that our children will not be able to function properly in the world without adequate doses of interaction with kids whose birthdays fall within the prescribed parameters.
Here is the response I developed during seventeen years of fielding this question. (Yes, I heard it even as they were about to graduate.)
Are you ready?
I would simply ask them what they meant by “socialization.” It never failed to end the conversation quickly. It turns out most people aren’t really sure about what they mean by the word socialization. A few would begin to define the concept, and as they did, I could deal with each of their points as they made them. I was no longer on the defensive or pressured.
Now, there are wonderful studies to support the idea that homeschooled children turn out just a well-socialized as their public school counterparts, and we can use those to calm our own fears. I firmly believe, though, that we do not owe the world an explanation for what we know the Lord has called us to do.
So go to that family reunion, hold your head high, and remember “What do you mean by socialization?”
Have you heard any of these criticisms before? If you haven’t, you are either surrounded by saints or have kept your decision a secret. If you have, how do you respond to the well-meaning (mostly) questioners of your convictions?
Let’s tackle the number-one, all-time favorite question posed to homeschoolers or potential homeschoolers, the granddaddy of skeptical quips—what about their socialization?
The very thought of it makes a parent tremble. Do we want to produce awkward, uncooperative adults as the result of our homeschool experiment? Of course not, so we stumble at the suggestion that our children will not be able to function properly in the world without adequate doses of interaction with kids whose birthdays fall within the prescribed parameters.
Here is the response I developed during seventeen years of fielding this question. (Yes, I heard it even as they were about to graduate.)
Are you ready?
I would simply ask them what they meant by “socialization.” It never failed to end the conversation quickly. It turns out most people aren’t really sure about what they mean by the word socialization. A few would begin to define the concept, and as they did, I could deal with each of their points as they made them. I was no longer on the defensive or pressured.
Now, there are wonderful studies to support the idea that homeschooled children turn out just a well-socialized as their public school counterparts, and we can use those to calm our own fears. I firmly believe, though, that we do not owe the world an explanation for what we know the Lord has called us to do.
So go to that family reunion, hold your head high, and remember “What do you mean by socialization?”
Friday, October 23, 2009
A College Student Talks about Homeschooling
On Fridays, we have some special treats lined up for you. We’ll conduct interviews, entertain guest bloggers, and tell funny homeschool stories.
Today we’re interviewing a homeschool graduate, Lindsay Burt, from Texas.
Homeschool Soul Mates: What would you like us to know about you?
Lindsay: Because I was homeschooled for all 12 grades I never experienced public school. People say I missed out on so much, but I actually think I missed all the negative things and gained so much more than anyone in a public school setting could ever find.
Homeschool Soul Mates:
How did you meet homeschool friends and do you still keep in touch with them?
Lindsay: I met other kids by becoming involved in a homeschool group. We took classes together, played sports together and became a family. In a homeschool group, the other kids and families become like your own family. You do everything together, and you become so close that it stays with you forever. I am 24 years old and all of my best friends are the ones I played sports with and hung out with in high school. A couple years ago, I saw a girl I played ball with, and we talked about the fact that even if we hadn’t stayed in touch we knew that if at any time in the future we were to need something we could always call a fellow homeschooler, and they would be there. I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.
Homeschool Soul Mates: Did you think socialization was a problem when you were homeschooled? Why? Why not?
Lindsay: When my mother decided to homeschool me at age 5, my father’s side of the family wasn’t too excited about it. They were so concerned with our athletics and “social life” (or lack thereof). My grandmother quickly learned when we moved right next to her that we were most definitely not lacking in that department! She said “I can never get a hold of you, you’re always doing something!” Socializing is a choice. When you are involved in a group, you will always have friends, things to do, and fun to have! I’m pretty sure we drove our parents crazy sometimes with all of our activities (I know my poor mom was worn out!), but they made high school so much fun. I have many days now where I wish I could just go back to high school! (And I haven’t found any public school kids with that thought!)
Homeschool Soul Mates: Would you ever consider homeschooling your own children someday? Why or why not?
Lindsay: I am actually planning to homeschool my children someday. It can be difficult to find a boyfriend who went to public school who won’t refuse it, because they don’t understand the positive impact of homeschooling (they are usually concerned about the athletics!). I feel that as a Christian and a parent I want to be the one raising my child and teaching them the way they should go. Because I was homeschooled I know all of the activities and opportunities there are for children as well as the positive impact other homeschool parents can have on your children. The other positive to homeschooling is the amazing closeness of your family. My siblings and I are inseparable, and I have yet to meet a homeschool family where the kids were not closer than anyone could imagine. (Although they still might fight… we aren’t perfect ) I want that for my children because I believe family is number one.
Homeschool Soul Mates: Wow, great answer. What are you doing now and how do you think homeschooling prepared you for it?
Lindsay: I am currently finishing up my degree at Texas Woman’s University. Don’t let anyone ever tell you as a parent, or as a homeschooler, that you won’t make it in college. It’s a lie. The self-discipline required in homeschooling is a great aid in college coursework. And personally, I think we might even be kinda smart J. Every homeschooler I know that wanted to go to college got in… and actually graduated (many with masters and quite a few going through PhD programs).
Because my mom is so passionate about hard work, she drilled it into us daily (the benefit of having your child in your hands at all times!!). That has led to success in my work life as well and enabled me to secure a job and the ability to move up in a massive company.
Homeschool Soul Mates: Sounds like you have a great mom! How did homeschooling shape you as a person?
Lindsay: I feel that the shaping of a child is largely due to a parent’s involvement. Because I was homeschooled, my parents molded and shaped me to be a hard-working Christian. People that don’t know anything about homeschooling think they know what a homeschooler looks like. Well… they’re wrong. No one I have ever worked with ever knew until I told them. Being homeschooled doesn’t mean you are shaped to be a “nerd” and incapable of properly socializing. I feel that in many cases your social skills are increased, and you are shown many things about the world without having to become involved in them. The interaction with parents on a consistent basis and the impact other parents had on my life will stay with me forever. You feel wonderful about yourself with so much support around you, and that confidence in yourself will carry you farther than any amount of education.
Today we’re interviewing a homeschool graduate, Lindsay Burt, from Texas.
Homeschool Soul Mates: What would you like us to know about you?
Lindsay: Because I was homeschooled for all 12 grades I never experienced public school. People say I missed out on so much, but I actually think I missed all the negative things and gained so much more than anyone in a public school setting could ever find.
Homeschool Soul Mates:
How did you meet homeschool friends and do you still keep in touch with them?
Lindsay: I met other kids by becoming involved in a homeschool group. We took classes together, played sports together and became a family. In a homeschool group, the other kids and families become like your own family. You do everything together, and you become so close that it stays with you forever. I am 24 years old and all of my best friends are the ones I played sports with and hung out with in high school. A couple years ago, I saw a girl I played ball with, and we talked about the fact that even if we hadn’t stayed in touch we knew that if at any time in the future we were to need something we could always call a fellow homeschooler, and they would be there. I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.
Homeschool Soul Mates: Did you think socialization was a problem when you were homeschooled? Why? Why not?
Lindsay: When my mother decided to homeschool me at age 5, my father’s side of the family wasn’t too excited about it. They were so concerned with our athletics and “social life” (or lack thereof). My grandmother quickly learned when we moved right next to her that we were most definitely not lacking in that department! She said “I can never get a hold of you, you’re always doing something!” Socializing is a choice. When you are involved in a group, you will always have friends, things to do, and fun to have! I’m pretty sure we drove our parents crazy sometimes with all of our activities (I know my poor mom was worn out!), but they made high school so much fun. I have many days now where I wish I could just go back to high school! (And I haven’t found any public school kids with that thought!)
Homeschool Soul Mates: Would you ever consider homeschooling your own children someday? Why or why not?
Lindsay: I am actually planning to homeschool my children someday. It can be difficult to find a boyfriend who went to public school who won’t refuse it, because they don’t understand the positive impact of homeschooling (they are usually concerned about the athletics!). I feel that as a Christian and a parent I want to be the one raising my child and teaching them the way they should go. Because I was homeschooled I know all of the activities and opportunities there are for children as well as the positive impact other homeschool parents can have on your children. The other positive to homeschooling is the amazing closeness of your family. My siblings and I are inseparable, and I have yet to meet a homeschool family where the kids were not closer than anyone could imagine. (Although they still might fight… we aren’t perfect ) I want that for my children because I believe family is number one.
Homeschool Soul Mates: Wow, great answer. What are you doing now and how do you think homeschooling prepared you for it?
Lindsay: I am currently finishing up my degree at Texas Woman’s University. Don’t let anyone ever tell you as a parent, or as a homeschooler, that you won’t make it in college. It’s a lie. The self-discipline required in homeschooling is a great aid in college coursework. And personally, I think we might even be kinda smart J. Every homeschooler I know that wanted to go to college got in… and actually graduated (many with masters and quite a few going through PhD programs).
Because my mom is so passionate about hard work, she drilled it into us daily (the benefit of having your child in your hands at all times!!). That has led to success in my work life as well and enabled me to secure a job and the ability to move up in a massive company.
Homeschool Soul Mates: Sounds like you have a great mom! How did homeschooling shape you as a person?
Lindsay: I feel that the shaping of a child is largely due to a parent’s involvement. Because I was homeschooled, my parents molded and shaped me to be a hard-working Christian. People that don’t know anything about homeschooling think they know what a homeschooler looks like. Well… they’re wrong. No one I have ever worked with ever knew until I told them. Being homeschooled doesn’t mean you are shaped to be a “nerd” and incapable of properly socializing. I feel that in many cases your social skills are increased, and you are shown many things about the world without having to become involved in them. The interaction with parents on a consistent basis and the impact other parents had on my life will stay with me forever. You feel wonderful about yourself with so much support around you, and that confidence in yourself will carry you farther than any amount of education.
Our thanks to Lindsay for joining us today! I was planning a blog to blow the cover off the socialization myth, but Lindsay did it for me! Does it encourage you to hear of homeschoolers who are successful in college and plan to homeschool their kids some day? What questions would you like us to ask homeschool students in the future?
Friday, October 16, 2009
Interview With a Homeschool Graduate
Today we welcome Angela Bell to our blog!Homeschool Soul Mates: Welcome, Angela, and thanks for the interview. Can you tell us how long you homeschooled?
Angela: I have been homeschooled my whole life. I gradated on June 14, 2008.
Homeschool Soul Mates: How did homeschooling shape you as a person?
Angela: It gave me strong relationships with my family, especially my mom, which has shaped me into a family oriented person. It also developed in me a firm belief and passion for Jesus and my Christian faith. I can't wait to have a family of my own to teach about the love of Christ.
Homeschool Soul Mates: I love that answer! Would you ever consider homeschooling your own children someday? Why or why not?
Angela: I am planning on homeschooling my children because I want to instill in them the love for learning my mom has instilled in me. I want to give them the opportunity to pursue their dreams instead of sticking them in a box labeled "traditional education". I also want them to learn in an environment where God is honored.
Homeschool Soul Mates: Did you think socialization was a problem when you were homeschooled?Why? Why not?
Angela: Every child goes through a stage when they feel awkward and shy around people and have a difficult time making friends. I personally feel being homeschooled gave me an advantage in my social development because during that awkward stage I had a strong foundation at home.
Homeschool Soul Mates: What activities were you involved in outside your family?
Angela: I took ballet lessons for seven years and was a member of my church's children's dance team. I also took swimming lessons. In high school I was involved in the H.O.P.E. Student Council for two years, one year as Secretary. Most recently, I was a member of my church's youth worship team.
Homeschool Soul Mates: What did you like most about your experience as a homeschooler?
Angela: My father is a minister and travels often mainly on the week-ends. Homescholing has given us flexibility to work around my dad's schedule. If he was gone on the week-end we'd do school while he was gone, and when he was home on a week day we'd take time off to be with him.
Now, I'm taking a fiction writing course, taught by Miss Teri, and am pursuing a career as an author. Homschooling gave me such a love for books and reading. I'd love one day to see a book I wrote on a shelf in someone's home. I also work in my church's infant nursery, and work part time as a mother's assistant.
Angela: My father is a minister and travels often mainly on the week-ends. Homescholing has given us flexibility to work around my dad's schedule. If he was gone on the week-end we'd do school while he was gone, and when he was home on a week day we'd take time off to be with him.
Now, I'm taking a fiction writing course, taught by Miss Teri, and am pursuing a career as an author. Homschooling gave me such a love for books and reading. I'd love one day to see a book I wrote on a shelf in someone's home. I also work in my church's infant nursery, and work part time as a mother's assistant.
We wish you the best in your pursuit as an author! Now I'd like to ask our readers something. How has the flexibity of a homeschool been a blessing to your family?
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