Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Relationships Trump Academics

     I know. We must live up to the fine academic standards so many of the homeschool students have set, and since the education of our children sits squarely on our shoulders, we stress over academics on a regular basis.
     But as a homeschool mom who now faces an empty nest, I can assure you that my relationship with my kids is far more important than whether we fully covered physics or chemistry in their high school years. Or whether they can shoot out pages of impressive prose or still struggle with compositions. They can continue to learn the academics, but the type of relationship we form with them at home will last a lifetime.

     Here’s a few ideas to keep your relationships strong.

• Take time to play with your children.

• Find books, movies, or games that make you laugh together. (This may be one of the most important things you do with your children!) Laugh together!

• As long as they work for you most of the time, take some time off on days when things aren’t going so well.

• Learn about their interests. My son liked basketball, so I made a point to learn all I could about it. He’s now 28, but we still enjoy a good chin-wag over the pick-and-roll or what’s a good press break. (Be careful on this one. If you learn too much, they might tag you to coach a team!)

• Pray with them about things that matter to them.

• Refuse to condemn them. Instead, assure them they can come to you with their problems or failures.

• Make family meal times enjoyable with fun discussions. Give each one an opportunity to pick a topic.

• Enjoy the fine arts together: concerts, plays, good literature, art, crafts, etc.

• Affirm your confidence in their abilities.

• Refuse to allow stress over the academics rob you of a loving relationship.

What suggestions do you have for maintaining good relationships with your children?


  1. As a post-homeschool mom I agree! They have the rest of their lives to learn the incidentals and most employers are willing to train in everything but people skills. Where do those people skills come from? Strong family relationships!

  2. I like testing their people skills i.e. sending them to Grandma's house for a week. When the parents aren't around - you will be able to get a "true" report card on behavior skills. (Not to mention a week's rest.) lol.

    Blessings to you both!!!
    Lana @ ilovemy5kids